Skip to content

Classification of clients

January 28, 2011
  • THE FINDING-FAULT TYPES

“You have not emailed me yet” (barely 10 minutes have passed since I told him that I will email him something)

“You have not updated me about the case status (at around 4 pm in the day when the court hours are not yet over)

“You are not expediting the hearing of the matter” (after suffering adjournments not due to the advocates but for some reason of the court)

“You did not receive my call” (when I have been inside the court room throughout and have messaged the client about the same)

 

  • MY-WORK-IS-THE-ONLY-WORK-YOU-HAVE TYPES

“I have given you all papers; now please file it tomorrow” (do clients think that we don’t need time to draft the damn application first, then sort annexures, get it finalised, have it photocopied, affirmed, stamp-punched before it can be filed?)

“I have given you all the data, so do I come back tomorrow for the final draft?” (I try to point out that the day after would suit me better) “Why? You can finish it today evening.” (duh!)

“I am sitting in your chamber; let’s do this exercise together” (when I asked a client to write down factual reply to allegations made, while trying to finish another work simultaneously)

“The limitation is expiring on Monday; please finalise the appeal over the weekend” (I thought of asking what prevented them from approaching us with more time at hand)

 

  • I-HAVE-THE-RIGHT-TO-CALL-MY-ADVOCATE-ANY-TIME TYPES

“I have just received a summons” (at 5-30 am; I don’t have a clue how he received summons at that hour)

“I have a query; please let me have the answer by today” (on a Sunday, when I don’t have access to resources for researching)

“Is our matter appearing in tomorrow’s cause list?” (at 11 pm)

 

  • THE OVER-SMART TYPES

“You missed out on that point” (to senior counsel after he finished his argument)

“I know we are still within the limitation period; no need to hurry now” (when I followed up with a client) “What?! Limitation is 45 days?? I thought it was 60 days!”

“Rs. 50,000/- as court fee is too much. Can’t it be lessened somehow?” (I pointed out that its possible provided he was willing to scale down his claim of Rs. 4 crores)

 

  • THE ABSOLUTE-ASS TYPES

“What is the difference between MoM and MoU?” (referring to Minutes of the Meeting and Memorandum of Understanding – two totally unrelated terms)

“Why should I, as a Director be responsible always? Can’t I insert a clause in the employment contract that the employers will be responsible if they screw up something?” (refuses to read the definition of Officers in Default in the Companies Act)

“Who says that photocopies can not be exhibited in Court? All our documentary proof are xerox copies” (Too bad that the law officer did not remember the Indian Evidence Act)

 

  • THE NON-PAYMENT TYPES

“The cheque is on its way from our Delhi office” (for the third time in row; I almost asked him how many times will the cheque travel)

“Please file this petition; its very urgent. I promise all the bills will be cleared by next week (a client whose 90 bill are pending)

“Why are you so bothered about the money? You should just do the work well” (client in mood to give me unsolicited advice) “I am just joking” (hastened to add after seeing my incredulous expression)

“Please give me a discount of at least 20%” (my boss is at loss for words) “Its season of discounts everywhere”!!!

 

  • THE APPRECIATIVE TYPES

“I am inviting you and your family to the premier show of a Hindi movie” πŸ™‚

“Please be my guest for a few days in the town of Raiganj” πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

“Next time you are in Bombay, please be my guest at Hotel *****” (names a 5-star hotel) “If you are visiting a place where we have a branch, please let me know; I will arrange for a complimentary meal there.”:-) πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

“I am thankful to you and the team of lawyers for today’s favourable order” πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Advertisements
8 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2011 1:33 pm

    I am the first one to comment because I can empathise completely (though not the level you might have experienced it) πŸ˜€ . But yes, during internships and stuff I have seen people bugging lawyers for pettiest of issues possible. Its not a joke when people tell that for being a successful lawyer you need to keep everyone from the Court Clerk to your clients in good humour and happy πŸ™‚

    Hats off!

    You will soon encounter the entire gamut of the types I have mentioned here. Till then, enjoy the peace in life.
    Humouring Court clerks/peons/canteen boys can be one entire blog post!

  2. semanti permalink
    January 28, 2011 1:47 pm

    U forgot to add the “ONE WHO THINKS LAWYERS CAN SOLVE ALL PROBLEMS”: I have a cozin who has some property issues. You might help (duh!! I am a corporate lawyer and not property lawyer. U dont ask a caridiologist what is wrong with your kidney, do you?)

    These types don’t understand the classification that exist among us lawyers – Corporate Lawyer – Litigation Lawyer – Banking & Finance Lawyer – Capital Markets Lawyer etc etc πŸ˜‰

  3. Prasad permalink
    January 28, 2011 6:16 pm

    Ah, absolutely nice!!!
    I ve met hybrids of these like THE FINDING-FAULT TYPES fused with THE ABSOLUTE-ASS TYPES, I-HAVE-THE-RIGHT-TO-CALL-MY-ADVOCATE-ANY-TIME TYPES with THE NON-PAYMENT TYPES, THE OVER-SMART TYPES but THE APPRECIATIVE TYPES…

    I agree, the appreciative types are rare; that’s why when you meet one of them, you are overwhelmed and totally motivated to work harder for them πŸ™‚

  4. January 28, 2011 8:40 pm

    Well, I know all these types (and a bit more) after all the colorful stories I have heard over time…. see I come from a family of lawyers, somehow i’m not one tho’ (i wouldn’t have really minded!)
    So liked reading the ” classification”, it’s cool! πŸ™‚

    A family of lawyers??!! Never knew that!
    You would have made a fantastic lawyer – as fanstastic as a scientist πŸ™‚

  5. January 29, 2011 5:06 pm

    you know what, in case of accounting too, the clients are of similar types.. only minus the appreciative type. . .

    I think, this is true for every profession where one has to deal with clients πŸ™‚ I really hope you do meet at least some appreciative types, who will make your day with one simple compliment πŸ™‚

  6. January 31, 2011 7:39 pm

    I totally agree with you! And you’re lucky you’ve met so many appreciative types…I’ve met just 1 in 14 months!!

    “So many”??? No.. just a handful few

  7. Manna permalink
    February 15, 2011 8:05 pm

    You sure deserve it dear. Awesome it is. Congrats and hugs. πŸ™‚

    Thank you πŸ™‚ and hugs to you, too πŸ™‚

  8. February 20, 2011 11:44 pm

    the last type is the best, but what fraction of your clients actually fall in that group? i don’t really see myself there. though technically i might qualify for all the rest πŸ˜›

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: