Break ups….in friendship
“When you are young you just believe there will be many people with whom you will connect…Later in life you realise it happens only a few times”
I don’t remember where I came across this quote, but it stuck a chord with me. Isn’t it so true? There was a time when I never thought twice before fighting with a friend, not caring what will happen if we fall apart; mainly because I thought that I will meet many more such friends in my life later on. But after 24 springs, I can hardly say that I still think the same. On the other hand, I believe in the absolute opposite – that good friends are very few and hard to find and hence, it’s advisable to hold on to the ones we have in life.
When I was in junior classes in school, whoever happened to sit beside me on the first day of the session became my best friend, unless of course, something bitter caused a fight. I remember a nice, quiet girl sat beside me in class III, because her roll number was just before mine. I was pretty disappointed since the talkative me was thinking how to spend one whole year with a quiet girl as my desk mate. She went on to become a really good friend, who used to take care of my things as I had a bad habit of losing stuff easily and also alerted me in class whenever the teacher started to look my side, while I was engrossed in idle chit chats with the one sitting on my other side. She had a wonderful calming influence on me, always reminding me at the end of school hours about important tasks to be completed the next day. The next year, we were in different sections and after that we spoke seldom. I wish now I had made more efforts in continuing our friendship.
I forged very few close friendship in my senior years in school. They were not really people who sat beside me in class, but people with whom I connected. One such friend in my class was one who had supported me in a most crucial hour of need and we became close ever since. We had kept in touch even after I changed school in plus-two and when I joined law school. During my first few days in law school hostel, when I used to feel horribly lonely, she had once paid me a visit, gifted me chocolates and music CDs and we had spent three hours chatting nonstop – old-school-days-girlie-gossip style. But for some strange reason, later that year we fell apart. We just stopped talking and that was the end. After two years, in one moment of extreme pain and hurt, caused by another friend, I had sent her a message in her mobile phone, without revealing who it was. At that point of time, I somehow felt that she was the only one I could turn to. She immediately replied saying “Is it Debosmita”? I was stupefied to know that despite the time gap, she instinctively knew who had sent her that message, just because she knew me and my reactions so well. She did support me in that moment and we promised to meet up and catch up on lost time; but it never happened. We are now on Facebook terms; interacting only in the virtual medium.
Another close friend of mine in school was my friend, philosopher and guide plus my pseudo-mom. She was two years my senior, and my guide in practically everything that I did. The day we broke up was one of the most painful memories. Too much bitterness and unhappiness made the whole issue very painful. Later, every time I had something special to share with friends, I used to miss her. When I made it to NUJS, I badly wanted her to know, since she was the one who had introduced me to it. I used to wonder how I would react if I suddenly meet her some day. Well, that day did finally come. After six years of silence, she called me one day and asked, “Guess, who?”. I responded as if we had last spoken just the day before. I am still in touch with her and meet her regularly. Some friendships, after all, do not break even with a six year time gap.
I regret deeply another breakup in friendship. We shared a wonderful friendship for the last 6 years, which finally crumbled under too much disappointments and misunderstandings around this time last year. Even though I like to believe that I have moved on, there are moments of solitude when I crave for that particular friend, who have been my constant guide in all my hours of need.
I sometimes wonder if I miss some of those friends with whom I have broken up, then why did the break-up with them happen in the first place?