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Letter from a daughter to her father

June 21, 2010

Dear Babi,

After wishing you today in the morning and then offering to take you and mamma out for dinner, a thought struck me – am I doing enough for you on the occasion of Father’s Day? Wishing you, taking you out for dinner and then a gift – is that all that I can do for you? Should I have expressed more in words? But you know, both of us are the non-expressive types, hence we usually do not show much emotions to each other. But then, certain feelings sometimes need to be expressed and particularly, on certain occasions.

Amidst huge expectations of the whole family for a son, I was born, on the day of Laxmi Puja. You were the only son and hence, to carry forward our branch of the family tree, you and mamma “had” to give birth to a son. But then, you were the first one to take me in your arms and declare that I will be the “Laxmi” of the family and no less special than a son. Sure enough, you got quick promotions after my birth. :-) May be, due to this reason I was such a tom boy in my childhood. I always wanted to prove you right that daughters can do all that a son can.

babinme3(cropped) Safely tucked into Babi’s arms at the age of 3 months

You taught me how to ride a bicycle every morning, English grammar every evening and mental sums every weekend. You were the best teacher I could ever had – and in all subjects. When I scored a near zero in map-pointing in class IV Geography test, you taught me the best way to remember places in a map of India; I never made a mistake after that. When I failed to draw the perfect butterfly in my Life Sciences homework in class V, you taught me how to use a ruler, put dots and then draw the perfect symmetrical butterfly wings; since then, I always received a “V Good” in all my science drawings right till Class XII. You helped me with graphs, which, for me, was the worse part of any Physics practical experiment. You even once wrote History answers for me to mug them up for exams, only with a strict condition that from next time onwards, I would keep aside enough time to prepare answers myself and not run to him at the last moment; because of you, I learnt never to mug answers, but developed a real interest in that subject.

I think I used to disappoint you the most in Maths. You expected me to be as brilliant as you were, but I really did not have much enthusiasm for that subject. Guess, that gene did not pass down from you. :-( Whatever marks I scored was good only because of your able guidance and perseverance.

babinme4(cropped)

Following his footsteps at the age of 2.5 years

babinme2(cropped)

Daddy’s girl at the age of 3 years

I still remember the time you stopped talking to me for two days. Two months into my plus-two classes and enrolment with the Brilliant Tutorials coaching, I had informed you and mamma that I did not intend to sit for any of the Joint Entrance Examinations. In a second, I had dashed all your hopes of your daughter turning out to be a doctor. Mamma was trying to make me change my mind, but you simply kept quiet. I think I hurt you the most that day. I was so scared of your silence that I said I will give Medical Entrance a shot, just to placate you.

babinme1(cropped)

One of the many family holidays at the age of 11 years

But once I was able to convince you of my interest in law and the opportunities it provides, you understood and supported me, even when I finally did not end up sitting for my Medical entrance. You were confident of my career choice and my self-confidence improved manifold once I had your support.

I remember the day 6 years ago, when NUJS entrance results were to be declared. You were up at 5 am and were pacing in the living room, worried for your daughter’s future and the uncertainty as I had already closed the option of medical/engineering. You checked the college website the moment they were out with the results and called me to inform my all-India rank. I could hear the pride in your voice and knew that I had not let you down. I knew that you were no longer unhappy about my lost chances at medicine.

Once I left home to stay in the hostel, you became more expressive about your emotions. One phone call that I was unwell used to bring you travelling all through the length of the city to meet me in the hostel, carrying home-cooked food. Mamma was always vocal, but you began to express only after I started living apart. :-) Your tension during my campus recruitment and consequent relief after day-one results were declared, your happiness during my Convocation and the pride with which now you inform people that ‘my daughter is a lawyer‘ gives me immense pleasure and contentment.

P2200017(cropped)

One of the few moments of pride

These days, I love it when you refuse to be bothered by mamma’s occasional ranting about how so many of my friends (including guy friends!) are getting married, in an attempt to make you realise your fatherly responsibilities. Your calm inaction always assures me of your support :-) I wish I could stay with you forever, but otherwise,[;)] I forbid you to perform the kanyadaan ritual. No father can actually give away his daughter and hence, there is absolutely no need for such absurd ritual.

For the last few days, we have been having fierce disagreements. You have adamantly put your foot down on my ambitious plan of a solo trip to the North-East and I have said some hurtful things to you; that I have grown up, independent, should be allowed to have my freedom etc etc. But today, as I wrote this letter, I realised the reason.

For the world, I am an independent young woman, but for you, I am still that 6 month old who used to wait for her father to come back from office every evening, the 2 year old who thought her father could ward off “haoo” (evil spirit in my baby language) whenever she used to be afraid of the dark and the 6 year old who had once pointed out a mistake to the teacher proclaiming “babi bolecche eta apnar bhul hoyecche; babi sob jane” [My father said that this is your mistake; my father knows everything] and invited her wrath.

Babi, I am sorry for all the times I have hurt you. I sincerely hope those occasions have not surpassed the number of times I tried to give you some joy.

Only yours,

Misha

This post is in response to Blogadda’s Contest “A Tribute to Dad“. The item from Pringoo which I would like to gift my father is here.

P.S. I can never do enough for you in my whole life time. This letter was just an expression of all that I wanted to tell you this Father’s Day.

******************

Edited to add: This post was adjudged as one of the “Editor’s Choice” by Blogjunta on 11/1/11.


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22 Comments leave one →
  1. June 21, 2010 4:02 pm

    Very sweet post… straight from the heart :)

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 22, 2010 1:56 pm

      Thank you so much :-D Yes, it was straight from the heart with hardly any editing.

  2. June 21, 2010 9:59 pm

    What a beautiful letter. Loved how the images added another dimension to the sentiments expressed so aptly in prose. I’m sure your dad is very proud of you.

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 22, 2010 2:03 pm

      Thanks, Mansi. Any word of appreciation from your end is always precious :-)

  3. Punam permalink
    June 21, 2010 10:37 pm

    V touching,I hope every child understands what they have given us and acknowledge and pay back the love in return when they need it.
    I am sure you have made your parents happy ,and indeed you have made the entire family proud !

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 22, 2010 2:11 pm

      Darling, good to see you here. Thanks, especially for that last sentence ;-) Love you.

  4. June 22, 2010 2:05 pm

    Well what can i say .. the article says it all.. I will jsut take the easy way out and say Happy Fathers Day…

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 22, 2010 2:20 pm

      Welcome Bikram. Do drop by more often :-)

  5. Punam permalink
    June 22, 2010 10:39 pm

    What u saying?I am a fan of ur blog,i always follow them!

  6. June 23, 2010 2:23 pm

    such a sweet post..very very cute snaps..those days were so nice na :)

    I was pathetic at history and science..and my maths was amazing..Dad always taught me all the subjects and i taught him maths :)

    nostalgic post..good luck for the blogadda contest :)

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 23, 2010 3:50 pm

      I had a nice time writing this post :-) Such nice memories… Thanks, dear :-)

  7. Soumya permalink
    June 23, 2010 3:03 pm

    I have been reading a lot of blogs recently ,,,,but there is something unique here.
    sahoj bhashai asadharon.
    Thanks for posting such a nice article.
    Keep it up

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 29, 2010 6:07 pm

      Welcome! and thank you so much :-)

  8. June 24, 2010 12:15 am

    loved the evolution through/in the pics….

    nostalgic flavours and aromas …

    • debosmita permalink*
      June 29, 2010 6:08 pm

      Yes, evolution ;-) from the cutest kid to the ogre-looking female ;-)

  9. June 24, 2010 7:13 pm

    That’s a really sweet post..being a daughter myself, can identify with it. Liked it a lot :)

    • debosmita permalink*
      July 11, 2010 12:12 pm

      Thank you Jaspreet.. Welcome and feel free to drop by more often ;-) Yes, daughters have a strangely close bonding with their fathers..

  10. August 20, 2010 12:28 am

    Cute and Nice post! Very well expressed.

    • debosmita permalink*
      August 26, 2010 10:03 am

      Welcome to my blog :-) and thank you so much!

  11. Dr.Munish Mehra permalink
    January 13, 2011 12:42 pm

    awsum letter…made me cried for the first time ever…
    hope to see more of those …

  12. Johnd32 permalink
    June 26, 2014 12:33 am

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