Bengali Women are the Best!

While taking a leisurely sip of my morning cup of chai on a nice chilly Sunday morning, I opened the Metro supplement of The Telegraph and found an article on 50 reasons not to marry a Bengali Woman! What the ^%*#$ !

Being the quintessential Bengali woman and the lawyer that I am, I couldn’t resist making out a defence on behalf of all the Bengali woman out there. For 50 such reasons, I can cite 100 reasons to disprove the case. Some of the reasons apply to woman generally and hence I treat them with indifference; some of them are downright stupid, which are again ignored. But some are serious allegations and demand special attention. I have first copied the reason from the newspaper and then given my take on it. Also click on the link given above to read the main story.

#1. She will fight with you but treasure all signs of being married to you. So she will wear that shankha pola and sindur with jeans, and that gold-covered loha with her cocktail dress. She has adopted the mehndi and chooda too. And the mangalsutra is a must slip-on every time she steps out of the house.

It goes on to show how pativrata a Bengali woman can be; the male chauvinistic society has always preferred such demure ladies as wives and here she is, right in front of you.

#2. And yet for all the fighting, her “modern woman” airs are gone after marriage. “O bolechhe” is the final word then. In private they snub, in public they idolise to an uncomfortable degree.

Well, how is that a negative point? She is being the best wife you can ever ask for! She follows the rule of “criticise in private and praise in public”.

#3. She tries too hard not to look Bengali. She will never have the Punjabi oomph, or the south Indian sensuality. But she will persist in trying. What’s more, she will tell you with a big smile that so and so storewallah thought she was a Punjabi today. Contradict at your own risk!

A big fat lie! What’s the use of Punjabi oomph which turns into layers of fat after 4 years of marriage and South Indian sensuality which gets lost in litres of coconut oil! Bengali women have the grace, charm and poise much beyond such petty hotness; she has the ability to kill with her eyes And such a Bengali woman shall never be happy being identified as a Punjabi!

#4. Like the accomplished women of Pride and Prejudice, they all sing Rabindrasangeet and Nazrulgeeti, dance, paint and recite poetry. God help you if she takes her talent seriously

Hello! It shows she is talented… and if she takes her talent seriously, you will have a celebrity in your family, since any accomplished singer, dancer, author or poet is an instant star in Bengal.

#5. She will never get along with your mother. It is a matter of principle.

All the Bengali men out there, at least be happy that here’s at last someone who has taken all the revenge that you secretly wished, against someone who made you recite notes ten minutes before exam, discussed your stomach ailments to an embarrassing extent with strangers, packed luchi alur dam as tiffin when all you wanted was chicken sandwich and made you wear muffler and monkey cap to school in winter, when rest of the class used to turn up in half-sweaters. Worship this diva!

#6. They will pet and spoil their husbands like overgrown babies and then they’ll ask you not to be a mamma’s boy. The truth is they’d rather you be a “wifey’s pet”.

As if Bengali men hate fawning! They enjoy all the attention very much, thank you. She asks you not to be a mamma’s boy for one simple reason – you possibly can’t be a wifey’s pet and a mamma’s boy simultaneously; it will be injurious to your own health. And also combine it with the other points here and you will have a perfect caring wife.

#7. Her brown nail polish, and brown lipstick.

That’s because it suits her dusky skin tone; at least she is intelligent enough not to streak her hair blonde like some women from other parts of the country. She knows what’s good for her.

#8. Saris are a must on all occasions and most unattractive at times. It’s invariably a taant or a dhakai in the mornings, which fluffs up around her already generous middle and makes her look dumpy and unsexy. It isn’t as sexy as a crepe or vibrant as a Kanjeevaram.

The maker of this statement hasn’t seen a Bengali woman, in a crisp tangail or a taant or a dhakai sari, which lends a beauty missing in the thin crepe and loud Kanjeevarams. Who says, one has to wear clinging and colourful saris to show off her carves? A Bengali woman knows what is her trump card

#9. Her cotton printed maxis. Or the way she drapes a dupatta on it to get the door.

Men – admit that a maxi is the most convenient garment during the *ahem* act; you don’t even need to struggle with *uh* drawstrings Times are changing nowadays; skirts, pyjamas, t-shirts have entered the everyday wardrobe of a Bengali women, too. So, don’t despair.

#10. She will force you to make the morning tea and the afternoon tea on weekends. Unlike a proper Indian wife who’d know that it’s her job to do so!

Men! its just tea! so run fast and make it for her… At least you are spared from cooking proper meals on weekends and saved from the plight faced by husbands belonging to other communities. Where else will you find such considerate wife?   

#11. She is dominating. She will control the colour of your underwear if she had her way.

First part is true; unless you are man enough, you will suffer her dominating ways throughout your life; but the second part? Bengali women are not that jobless! They would rather shop for their matching blouses and petticoats than your underwear! C’mon, since when has the colour of men’s underwear become important?

#12. She prefers stability over risk. So she wants you to settle for a fixed deposit over the stock market and a good MNC over a “start-up with possibilities”. And then complain when those risks taken by someone else pay off.

I agree, traditionally Bengali women have been known to favour the Government employee as a prospective husband; these days, its the Engineers. But let me assure all you men – its just a trend like anything else. So the chartered accountant or the entrepreneur out there, wait for your turn patiently

#13. The really beautiful ones leave for Bollywood. The ones who are left behind are not worth marrying AND #14. She is supposed to be a mix of Bipasha’s oomph and Konkona’s intellect. Wake up, kid!

Lie! lie! lie! Not all beautiful and intelligent ones leave for Bollywood; some also become lawyers and Economics teachers (like mine in school).

#15. She’s sexy. There something about those eyes and the dusky skin. She looks like she has promise. But she seldom lives up to it.

Only if you are an unfortunate man, will your wife not live up to the promise. Most Bengali women do If she doesn’t, then something must have been wrong with the position of the stars during your birth

#16. All you can do is ogle discreetly. She is a firm practitioner of mind over matter. She’s the quintessential tease.

Now you know the reason why you fell for her hook, line and sinker; the spark was always kept alive

#17. And yet, despite it all, she is just too good for you. Sorry men.

Now this is how an article is signed off, when written by Bengali women Finally you have the best proof of smartness of Bengali women

Images are sourced from Google images; the images of the few celebrity Bengali women here doesn’t mean that this is the end to the list – for one celeb, there are at least a minimum of 50 similarly beautiful, intelligent, smart and independent women among the common public